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What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

It is exactly 4:00am as I start this update on what has happened since August 1, 2005.

4:01am, that was fast. But let me tell you of an amazing love story God is really starting with me. No not that kind of "righteous fox" kinda love story (tsk tsk Matt), but of the love story pertaining to the most perfect kind of love there is. It's been almost two weeks since God has revolutionized my prayer&devotional life with Him. I must admit that before I used to cheat on doing my devotions sometimes, just skimming and doing a simple 5min prayer and reading an already highlighted verse! =S But man the things you start seeing and hearing when you really connect to God. If you ONLY knew what God had planned for your life. The family members that He wants to save through you, the co-workers with no hope, and the students in your tutorials. Everything is different now. Things aren't the way they seem. You finally realize that how you've been living your life was barely up to par with what it says in the Bible.

I'm taking a course called Early Christian Writing, it deals with the historic face of the Gospels and the early books. I thought Religion 100 was trying, but you haven't seen nothing yet. It's hard to find any spiritual connections when the one teaching the course is an athiest. But I make sure that I pray before I really start listening to all these theories. But I've realized so much things concerning the main thing that they lack in the whole entire class, One of which is faith. It's impossible to please God without it and I don't think God's too pleased when these 'scholars' speak of what they believe is to be true. Now I see where that statistic that goes something like how "there's a higher probability for someone being saved before they reach university" becomes more of a reality. I listen to each person as they ask questions of faith and are shut down by faithless-answers. Academics lack to take into consideration how Holy Spirit impresses into these writers of the Gospel, how the Bible is to be taken into context, and what the WHOLE Bible's goal and/or purpose is. It wasn't created to be a history textbook nor a book based on timelines and flowcharts. But how impossible it is to read this book without FAITH. Thank God I've found someone in the class who listens to UNITED! haha...

FALLING UP <-- If any of you guys haven't heard them, man they are one group that have serious passion for God and are an amazing group.  Listen to CONTACT.  Please support Christian Artists and buy their CD

Thank God for Music. Through these past weeks God has been throwing songs at me like there's no tomorrow. In response to such a prompting, I've revived the hand-held recorder of my mom by putting new batteries and have spontaneously sung into it whenever God hums something to my soul. I remember I had guests over and then I just ran back into my room because God had given a certain melody for a song. I love how God puts people with complimentary passions and visions and dreams together.  I can definitely say for myself I am a BIG dreamer. No offence to the Christians who are called to stay mediocre (EWWWW...none of you guys better not have said "Oh none taken"   lol. ). Sorry that's not possible for someone who's been taken from the miry clay to stay stagnant, nor for people who have been bought by the blood be stale, nor peole who have such a great testimony, and have dodged bountless hooks, jabs, and right punches from the enemy to say that they've been knocked-out. but (going back on track), I am believing for GBC's own MUSIC STUDIO, and DANCE  STUDIO, and everything else that comes with the package for the heirs of Christ. Dream BIG people. Not just a small song you wrote, but think of the end result, the people that it will minister to. Don't just choreograph a dance, but invision stronghold breaking as every move is done in syncronization. Don't just lead worship, but prepare yourself for the multitudes of souls, and lead as if you see them already. Don't just read the Bible, but soak in it as if the next person you were going to see needed as much Word than ever in her life. Perspective. Change it.

Back to Toronto... and how many months later yet you're still in my mind!!!!!!  I was checking out a guy's page from UCLA and his success story that has sparked a regained passion for our campuses. But what speaks to me the most is that we're not alone. That all over the world, there are people just like us who are willing to die for this cause. That there are other university students that pray for their school non-stop. I even believe there are students across this globe whose story will never be posted on an online forum, who will never gain international support, or ever be recognized other than from God himself. And it comes to such a humbling scenario we have here in Toronto. This passion that started in highschool has blossomed to the revolutionary soldiers that are taking their schools back to its rightful Owner. I don't know if we realize or not, but that God has strategically placed us at this time for this moment. Connecting us with people with alike visions, or different, but so complimentary for kingdom business. How God had to conspire to make you be where you are right now! but what I learned from God is that, if you stay to a close vicinity to these men and women of God, when they are blessed by Lord Jesus, people who are connected are affected. They can't help but BE affected. That's the outpouring. The overflowing of abundance of God's promise.

I AM EXCITED MIS AMIGOS!

Let's stay close to each other my friends. No matter how different the hands and eyes, they serve the purpose for one body. Likewise as different as your calling is to mine, let's serve the purpose of the Body. Open the floodgates of Heaven, let it rain!

I'm nowhere near done updating, but hey maybe this is all it took to lift up a brotha or a sistah yo! Look behind you (Jesus is watching with a front row view of what you're doing! It's the "freaky" Jesus Ptr. Anthony was talking about. More on that later).

See, all it takes it a little push for me to update! haha thereya go TEESH!

So it's Monday August the 1st... what have i done with my life so far? Well...as i'm writing this i'm in (once again) UTSC (elliot's EX-home..soon to be downtown! hahah...stilll praying for you bro) yeah... teesh is on another random computer...

There's been so much since I last wrote... It's hard to put everything into words. First and foremost I celebrate God's victory in my life.... SO MUCH ATTACKS lately... if the devil can catch me with sin.. he'll use my brother...or something really dumb...  i can't stress enough doing my devotion even before taking a shower or... using the washroom... the first 5min of your determining the rest (as statistics say) do affect, but we inititally determine the tempo of our day... I was really encouraged by "TUESDAY RELATIONAL GROUP PEOPLE but NOT YOAH PEEPS" haha. Salvation is Here is right as i continue reading on people's journals or watevers. Man... just talking the other day about the importance of surroundig yourself with REAL CHRISTIANS... not being unequally yoked. I thank YOU LORD for giving me friends who truly would lay their life down on the line for anyone...who are so selfless and real...who you can trust or count on...living this narrow and rugged lifed path is so much easier with others pushing towards the same goal.

*RANDOM THOUGHT* I was reading as my devotion this morning in Proverbs and it was talking about going to back to your old ways and it was giving examples.... and one that struck me was that of a dog going back and eating its vomit! I was like wow. That's how disgusting it is... how much it doesn't make sense... how demeaning and senseless when there is so much more nutritious foods out there and yeah... wow.. imagine eating vomit...naww..it's meant to stay out of your system!

Now crucified in You, I, free-ly-lift my hands to You,                                  And I'm, never turning back or reverting, to my old ways,                          You see, Your blood has set me free, And I, feel new peace in me              So I'm living by Your grace and Your mercy

My summer courses are on the verge of completion! Praise God! I honestly didn't think i could have made it but i did! it's amazing really... Hardwork and perseverence (hebrews) --> character! Taking this religion course has made me think quite a lot... To think that just as we are evangelizing that there are so much beliefs out there that people are holding on to. So much  gods, godesses, idols, incarnates that are an actual reality to those who have made it a devout practice. To me I find it soo interesting, besides the fact that we're zooming by the course, but nonetheless, to try to argue with these people who don't believe in my basis of truth, The Bible, is quite a challenge. Persuasion isn't my job. Holy Spirit convicts the hearts and waters the seed that we plant.

TORONTO. CANADA. EARTH. I've been thinking too much about this city! Well..maybe not too much but constantly. We need to continually see this land as something that God has given to us. I love equality and justice. I believe God made me a minority for a reason... it wasn't an accident that I'm not the ideal skin color, height, or nationality; but i believe that the minute details of where we live and what backgrounds we are were planned out by God. To even try to fathom such omnipotence can stupefy, dumbfound, and perplex such a creation's finite and constrained mind. But something keeps calling me back guys! This desire and brokenness has grown even to the natives of this land. But why Lord? What are you trying to show me? I need to continually seek God on this... as much as I want to join Hillsongs United in Australia...or go to a spirit-filled church in Hawaii (;P), something is calling me here in Toronto. Not even going to school in a different city can fulfill this yearning for harvest and revival in my home Toronto. I feel it... I don't know what but I do... I know something's going to happen... but have no clue or idea what form it'll transcend in. I don't know what part I'll have specifically in this end-time-haul of souls.... but I know I WILL. I don't know... but I do. I know that on every single decision I make will affect the lives of others... Do YOU feel that power or ability to really change and affect lives even of people you meet on the subway? My home and native land. If You can use anything Lord, You can use Me.

Ptr. Cesar Castellanos once sat on a rocking chair. God told him He was going to move the chair. Cesar started to rock on the chair. God then told him, "I can move the chair Myself, but I want to use YOU!" (wowsers)

Youth Explosion was the other day. Even if one soul came to Christ, Heaven was having a fiesta! Even after tech. difficulties God still deserves all the glory. I thank God for such men and women of God who are so passionate and committed for God! Special thanks to Mike, Dan, Josh, Tim & Aimee. Honestly... for in such a short time be able to come and worship together. I have seen in my own life the ability to improve and increase in your gift. Where I once was not able to even open my mouth during worship to this new-found love of musical worship. God is able to increase your gifting and ability... as you continually offer to God your talents and abilities He transforms it and makes it His own. Taking you places where you could never go.. sing notes, perform key changes, or concoct beats that you could never do on your own.

All I want is You in my Life,                                                                         All I long for, is what You satisfy,                                                                   All I search, O Lord be my guide, be my guide

Something I've really been concerned with is being Spirit-lead. I pray that people continue to really be sensitive to Holy Spirit. As much as we have our own agendas and timelines and dates, God has His. Thus it overrules our own "legitimate" reasons. God is timeless yet He is a God of order, all in right context of the Word. We often think that we start the revivals or we make the events or meetings and we ask God to bless it. But often we forget that it is God who has His ultimate and perfect will for our lives. God's Will (as put by some preachers) is like a bus, it's going to keep going no matter what. Regardless if you're on the bus or not it'll keep heading as scheduled. And as much as we have been given all power and authority, God wants you to catch unto HIS wave that is working; rather starting our own. He wants us to catch on to His vision and plan! Rather than praying "God, May you bless what we're doing" we ought to pray "Lord, may we do what You're blessing". We need NOT to see it as..."What will make me grow more?" all the time... but we also need to focus on "What is keeping me from growing?"

Well... school is fast approaching... the church is really exploding... I pray that we continue to seek His face. It's hard..I'm going to have a really challenging workload..along with working one day and yeah...it's going to be really crazee honestly! Managers at work have been really nice and generous to me! But being able to balance out all these things is going to be accomplished only thru the help of GOD!!!!! No really....Hopefully the next time I write on this thing you'll know whether or not if I moved downtown with some friends from school, got a jeep, moved in to my new house or what? HA. Excited really for the year to come! it's going to go by quiccccck but hey! I'm excited ....right STANDFORD PORTUGUESE CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP! (but we ARE Christian) haha...

Alrighty...FINALLY going to start this essay!! muahahha..... it's going to be grrrrrrrreaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!! Yeah man... 4.0 is still within grasp so...I do my part, He'll do the rest!!!!!

¡Estudio español todavía, pero empezaré mi ensayo ahora! ¡Hasta el próximo tiempo mi amigo!

hey all you people... hahah too bad nobody knows this is me. but nonethe less..just an update on my life...is that i really have no time....i completed my first week of work and yehh...thats it..i worked 4 out of 5 days and i have full time school....eqvui to 4 half courses and church...and studying and travelling home on my best way..ttc! but God has been so good...God has really increased so much @ our church...the Youth missions is on its way.... Miami for those going is on its way and yehh.. God is really wow...see what ive learned (i got 5min left ) is that He takes the uneducated to shun the wise...and the outcasts and the children to show those who think they've go it and the elders or yehh "veteran CHRISTIANS" haha...but yehh nonetheless...its been a crazee ride so far...still finding a place ot stay in september!...and yehh..im here in scarboro casmpus...im going to John's funeral in Jane nd Finch to sing with my choir family....and yehh then going to kuya sherwin's to teach them the medley song and then to top it off with teaching girlies @ churhc.....gym.....youthgroup? studying? haha..i love it GUYS!!!!

But i love you more thanlife Lord.

more than anything....i love you forever!

im leading worship on sunday

Beautiful One, Rock of Ages, There Is Nothing Like, All in All, and Cry inmy Heart

thank you Lord for music...

(blobbing)

P & W meeting was good... really go to clarify some things..i really am taking so much mre leadership.

Temptation s strong...im realizing even more that the devil wants me dead, broke, and destroyed..but that ain't happening...no matter what happens i stand on the Rock of ages... all i need is Him...thank you God for giving me a purpose to wake up in the morning..thank You that you are my MAIN source of income..not my job....that you are my main source of ENERGY...not FOOD! i Love you Lord....more more more....

"RELATIONAL TUESDAY MORNIINGS" are doing good...really fresh..still praying for Vivian, Evelyn, Elliot, Jesse and other missionaries....YOAII (Youth On An Indoneisan Island) GOO JESSE! haha... YOAII *sounds like HAWAII...and rhymes* hahha....i know i know...

RAIN...its coming...stickiness in the air.....you feel it!

thank you Lord!

for my CAR! for my TUITION...for SALVATION of UT!!!! *lays hand on UTSC*  haha..but ST GEORGE CAMPUS!!! haha mann....im living for this cause!!!!! IM LAYING DOWN MY LIFE!!!! woohoo...hcinese girl beside me thinks im crazee...

gotta midterm on monday for religion!!! LORD YOU GOT THIS!!! Matthew 4:4....

getting a 4.0 in both my classes right now...let's keep this up!!!

got 2 more SHOE COMPANY MEDLAS today! hahaa....oh mahn so funny...and rey is funny..he's the same EVERYWHERE!!! ahahha...."REYYYYYYY SHUT UP" (doesn't matter who)

lol..selling chocolates.,...God is good!!!!

Joseph and his brothers...wow...what a testimony..

<b>LIFE IS LIKE FRIENDSTER...IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR TESTIMONY</b>

till the next time guys!!!

It's funny how a lot of people write on their XANGA pages and LIVE JOURNAL (to their rivals). hahah well I just really felt the certain urge to write down of such an amazing occurence that happened last night. It was awesome, something God ordrained. I wasn't really even supposed to go, I was going to finish up doing some stuff and embarassingly enough play M-MEN Legends on PS2! haha....but God had other plans. So we got to Jesse's and already to be in the same room as other men and women of God was an exhillerating feeling. "Just like the people who met in the upper room before the day of Pentecost" I really believe in my heart something was set last night. There was this inexplicable hunger that was boiling within. There were those who were so dry, and needed just one persperation from God. While others struggling with loneliness truly expressed their season of independence with the group. I don't know what it was, but it was a sense of family. A trust that only was bounded by God. A hunger for things deeper. A passion too strong. I believe that there was a release of healing and a cast of forgiveness to God's beloved children. When you're gathered in ONE place with ONE spirit under the ONLY ONE who deserves all honor and praise something is going to happen. I really believe that there is something more than what we've alreayd been going through. That whatever started with Yoah and all these other ministries that God has given to us is just a little realization to us of God's Sovereign plan. That He conspired with the world for us. RELATIONSHIP. That's it . I see now how God is spreading His children across this province. Slowly inserting us into His rightfully-owned universities. Stronger is what we are. But to GOD be all the glory. I can't get enough of how much He cares about US!!!! As numerous as the sands of the earth so are the plans that He has for us!!! Waiting for us to wake up in the morning, waiting for us to acknowledge that significant blessing He inserted into our day. How precious Jesus is continually interceeding for us. Amazing Grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. If we were to NOT have God for 5min, can you imagine the HAVOC we'd be in? God is amazing. He is so much more that we can comprehend, adjectives don't even compare to what He is! Excited is what I am though. An accountability. It isn't easy finding friends like I have. And i really thank YOU LORD for giving me the opportunity to do so. For the laughs, the ability to praise and worship God, and just for being who they are.

As I turn 19, (woohoo) haha...I am so thankful. I've made TOO MANY mistakes in my life. Some that people know and others that will remain visible to my Saviour alone, but if there's one thing I know it is the Jesus' Blood NEVER FAILS. So blessed. A crappy year I had! i must admit, I reallt went through so much testings and trials that have been so hard. Tears, guilt, doubts. What I went through this year was more than I've ever been through in my whole life... it's been crazee.... But I thank God for everything. It was a lonely year. Praise be to God that i had some FRIENDS to help me through it... haha....from my SMC PEEPS and MICHELLE..and MIKE, STEVE, CASEY, UT PEEPS and UTGC FAMILY ...wow....i really don't know where id be right now if it weren't for them....As i'm writing here in gernstein library, coming out of my quite tiresome lecture form religion, i realize that JESUS you're really all that I want. I can speak verbally to Him in my car, and continuously pray and even have a "DREAM-PRAYER" (you know where you're talking to God but you're half aSLEEP, but you REALLY wanna talk to God!??!?!? ...but you're sooo SLEEPY! hahah) but yeh,..God in this 19th year of my life...my prayer is:

Dear God,

I pray that on my 19th year on this Earth that you so dearingly care about, I pray that you take me places where YOU can only take me. REALLy Show me visions only you can. Speak words that only a man in tune with his Maker can understand. Break my heart of stone. That you create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. That I not flirt with any type of sin or be distracted on any other type of temporary pleasure on Earth, BUT that i may walk in complete FAITH and OBEDIENCE every moment that I am alive. That Lord I need you more than a 4.0 GPA, more than a Righteous Fox, more than Leading Youthwave or GBC YOUTH EXPLOSION hehe, more than the next heartbeat, more than the air I breathe, more than anything...But you plant seeds in the UNIVERSITY of TORONTO. That Lord you do something, you take rightful possession of this school! That Souls may be saved for Your sake alone. And I also pray for the lost to come to know you, friends, family, backsliders, may they come to know the greatness of our God. Thank You Lord.

AMAZING....off to the gym i go boys and girls...its funny how i barely use this thing...but yehh.. ahha maybe ill tell someone one day...haha like..KATerina the MASTER GURU of XANGA! hahaha...

stayy blessed and till the next BLOG